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Joke Topic - 'Pets' - 6 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 6 jokes on the topic - 'Pets'.
'I call my pet Tiny,' said Peter.
'Why do you call him Tiny?' asked one of his friends.
'Because he's my newt.'
2>'Why do you call him Tiny?' asked one of his friends.
'Because he's my newt.'
A man went into a pet store and said to the owner, I'd like to buy a pet that is out of the ordinary - unusual.
The pet shop owner replied, well,I have one Rairy-bird left...
The man said, I've never even heard of a Rairy-bird; that certainly makes it unusual! I'll take it!
So the man brought home his new Rairy-bird and soon found out that it had a huge appetite! It was always hungry!! Finally, the Rairy-bird was so big and fat that it wouldn't fit inside the house anymore, much less the cage! The man said to himself: I've got to get rid of this animal-I can't afford to feed it! So he rented a huge dump truck, put the Rairy-bird into the back, and drove to the edge of a high cliff. He then dumped the Rairy-bird out of the truck and over the cliff!! Thinking that all his troubles were over, the man was driving home when he suddenly heard this singing coming from the back of the dump- truck:
'It's a long, long way to tip-a-Rairy!!
5>The pet shop owner replied, well,I have one Rairy-bird left...
The man said, I've never even heard of a Rairy-bird; that certainly makes it unusual! I'll take it!
So the man brought home his new Rairy-bird and soon found out that it had a huge appetite! It was always hungry!! Finally, the Rairy-bird was so big and fat that it wouldn't fit inside the house anymore, much less the cage! The man said to himself: I've got to get rid of this animal-I can't afford to feed it! So he rented a huge dump truck, put the Rairy-bird into the back, and drove to the edge of a high cliff. He then dumped the Rairy-bird out of the truck and over the cliff!! Thinking that all his troubles were over, the man was driving home when he suddenly heard this singing coming from the back of the dump- truck:
'It's a long, long way to tip-a-Rairy!!
A very lonely lady bought a parrot from a pet store, complete with a cage. Before purchasing it, she got a guarantee that the parrot would talk. She took the parrot home. In a week and a half, she returned to the store very disappointed.
'The parrot doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a mirror?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a mirror. 'So she installed a mirror in the parrot's cage. Another week and a half went by, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a ladder?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a ladder.' So she bought a ladder and installed it in the cage. Another week and a half passed, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a swing?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a swing. 'So she bought a swing and installed it in the cage. A week and a half later, she returned. She was furious!
The store owner asked, 'Did the parrot talk?'
'No! he died.'
'Oh, that's terrible. But did he say anything before he died?'
'Yes.'' What?'
'He gasped. 'Don't they have any food down at that pet store?''
5>'The parrot doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a mirror?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a mirror. 'So she installed a mirror in the parrot's cage. Another week and a half went by, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a ladder?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a ladder.' So she bought a ladder and installed it in the cage. Another week and a half passed, and she returned.
'The parrot still doesn't talk.'
'Did you buy a swing?'
'No.'
'Every parrot needs a swing. 'So she bought a swing and installed it in the cage. A week and a half later, she returned. She was furious!
The store owner asked, 'Did the parrot talk?'
'No! he died.'
'Oh, that's terrible. But did he say anything before he died?'
'Yes.'' What?'
'He gasped. 'Don't they have any food down at that pet store?''
I used to have a fish as a pet. Poor little thing was deaf, so I bought it a herring aid.
2>What kind of pets like to lay around the house all day?
Car-pets!
1>Car-pets!
Which type of pet is the noisiest?
A trumpet!
1>A trumpet!
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Phones
We apologize for the inconvenience. You've stumbled upon a make-believe number. Could you please turn your phone sideways and give it another shot?
1>Mickey Mouse
Why did NASA send Mickey Mouse into outer space?
To help look for Pluto.
1>To help look for Pluto.
Cold
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce in it's cold out here.
1>Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce in it's cold out here.
Managers
The manager started his speech at 10 a.m. sharp and ended at 11 a.m.
1>Astronomers
How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
1>None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
Kitchens
What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France?
Linoleum blown apart.
1>Linoleum blown apart.
Bosses
Rules:
(1) The boss is always right.
(2) When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.
1>(1) The boss is always right.
(2) When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.
Elephants
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Have you ever tried ironing one?
1>Have you ever tried ironing one?
Owls
What do owls celebrate at the end of October?
Owl-oween.
1>Owl-oween.