While he was away on business, Brian thought it would be a good idea to buy a present for his girlfriend. "How about a bottle of perfume?" he asks the cosmetics assistant in a department store. She shows him a sixty-dollar bottle.
"That's a bit too expensive," says Tim, so she returns with a smaller bottle for thirty dollars. "That's still too expensive," Brian complains. Growing annoyed, the assistant shows him a tiny fifteen-dollar bottle.
'What I mean,' said Tim, 'is I'd like to see something really cheap."
So the clerk handed him a mirror.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Faye.
Faye who?
Fayeding away.
Throw
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Kleptomaniac
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
Witches
How did the witch know that she was ill?
She had a dizzy spell.
Dracula
Why did Dracula's wife leave him?
Because he was a pain in the neck.
License
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Carpets
What item is usually bought by the metre, yet is worn by the foot?
A carpet.
Girlfriends
What did the firefly say to his girlfriend?
You light up my life.
Brightest
He's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.