Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
What do you call a man who works in the perfume department of a store at Christmas?
Frank in Scents.
What do you get if you cross a successful book with perfume?
A best smeller.
What is a successful perfume called?
A best smeller.
While he was away on business, Brian thought it would be a good idea to buy a present for his girlfriend. 'How about a bottle of perfume?' he asks the cosmetics assistant in a department store. She shows him a sixty-dollar bottle.
'That's a bit too expensive,' says Tim, so she returns with a smaller bottle for thirty dollars. 'That's still too expensive,' Brian complains. Growing annoyed, the assistant shows him a tiny fifteen-dollar bottle.
'What I mean,' said Tim, 'is I'd like to see something really cheap.'
So the clerk handed him a mirror.
Dogs
What do you get if you cross a hunting dog and a telephone?
A golden receiver.
Cows
Why did the cow leave home?
It wanted to look for greener pastures.
Scottish
What is the name of a Scottish cloakroom attendant?
Willie Angus McCoatup.
Witches
My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'
Computer Programmers
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand
Girlfriends
Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!
Pigeons
Did you hear about the pigeon who wanted to buy a famous London landmark?
He put a deposit on Big Ben.
Pigs
What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone?
A lot of crackling on the line.
Witches
Why was the witch drinking lots of water?
She was going through a dry spell.