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Joke Topic - 'Patients'

Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Patients'.


Doctor: I will examine you for twenty dollars.
Patient: Go ahead Doctor. If you find it you can have it.

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



What's that up the road? A head?

This Morning

I heard something this morning that really made me open my eyes.
What was it?
My alarm clock.

For Granted

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Don who?
Don take me for granted.


What is a skunk's favorite Christmas song?
Jingle Smells.


Teacher: Take this sentence: "I don't have no fun at the weekend." How should I correct this?
Pupil: Perhaps you could try and find a boyfriend.


I take my wife out every night, but she always manages to find her way home.


Waiter, waiter.
Are there snails on the menu?
Yes there are, Sir, I'm afraid they must have escaped from the kitchen.


Where does a duck go when he gets sick?
The ductor.


I went to high school so long that the other students brought me apples . . . they thought I was the teacher.

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