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Joke Topic - 'Paint'

Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'Paint'.


A decorator was painting a house and the owner came home to find the man rushing about like a mad thing with his brushes.
'Why are you working so fast?' he asked.
'Well, you see, sir, the paint's running low and I want to finish the job before it's all gone.'

An idiot was given the job of painting white lines down the middle of a road. On his first day he painted eight miles, on his second day he painted 3 miles, and on his third day he painted just one mile. The boss was not pleased. He asked him, "Why is it that you are painting less each day?"
"Because each day I get further away from the can of paint."

I'd give my right ear to paint like Van Gogh

What kind of coat is put on when it is wet?
A coat of paint.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.


How do you get rid of varnish?
Remove the 'r'.


What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, jungle bells...

In Charge

A HUSBAND: The man who knows he is in charge, and has his wife's permission to say so.


What is very smelly, and is spoken in the highlands of Scotland?


I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be

Milk Shakes

Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous cows.


"Terribly sorry, but you've reached an answering machine."


Why was the bird wearing a wig?
Because it was a bald eagle.

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