There was me and my brother, in this cottage in the country, all on our own in the dead of night. My brother said, 'What was that noise? I thought I heard an owl.'
I said, 'You probably did. I stepped on the dog's paw.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Everything
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
Breed
What breed of dog does a chemistry teacher have?
A laboratory retriever.
Ghosts
Why do ghosts go to the same place every year for their vacation?
They like their old haunts best!
Idiots
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you later.
Read
I wrote this slowly 'cos I know you can't read very fast
Politicians
During Britain's "brain drain," not a single politician left the country.
Cowboys
'Did you hear about the cowboy who was hanged for wearing paper trousers?'
'No, why was that?'
'Because they were rustling.'
Dress
Customer: May I try on that dress in the window, please?
Clerk: No, ma'am. You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.
Cooks
Cannibal Cook: Shall I make soup from both those cooks we captured?
Cannibal King: No; one is enough. Too many cooks spoil the broth.