Joke Topic - 'On The Run'

Why was the football coach yelling at the vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.

Bill: Why do you want to be buried at sea?
Fred: Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

A little girl asked her father, 'do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time"?
The father replied, 'No, some begin with - If I am elected.'

The most sadistic Christmas present I ever heard of was a down-payment on a Rolls-Royce. (think about it)

Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.

Why do stupid people eat biscuits?
Because they're crackers.

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

Apathy rules - so what?

Do you suffer from Dan Druff?
Well, just tell him to go away and leave you alone.