Joke Topic - 'On The Run'

What is vicious, Victorian and lives at the bottom of the sea?
Jack the Kipper.

My great uncle Morris died of deafness. He was so deaf he didn't hear the roadroller coming.

What animal goes to bed with his shoes on?
A horse.

There's no future in time travel

Did you hear about the man who stole a truckload of eggs?
He has returned them. Apparently he only did it for a yolk.

Did you hear about the ghost who works at Scotland Yard?
He's the Chief in-spectre.

If at first you don't succeed, try management.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Demure.
Demure who?
Demure the merrier.

Nothing confuses a man more than a woman driver who does everything right.