Gravity
What is the center of gravity?
The letter v.
Vampires
Where do vampires keep their savings?
In the blood bank.
Husbands
Did you hear about the husband who took his wife for some plastic surgery?
He had her credit cards removed!
Vampires
Which vampire likes to eat junk food?
Snackula.
Barmen
Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says to them, 'Get out. We don't serve your type in here.'
Schools
Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word 'analyze' in it.
Pupil: My sister Anna lies in bed until nine o'clock.
Arguing
Did you hear about the man who was constantly arguing?
He liked arguing so much he wouldn't eat anything that agreed with him.
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit very carefully, it's a Christmas present!
Economists
How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If the government would simply leave it alone, it would change itself.