Q: How does a male octopus ask a female octopus to marry him?
A: Can I have your hand, your hand, your hand, your hand ...
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Paranoid
I wouldn't be paranoid if people didn't pick on me
Doughnuts
Old doughnut makers never die,
they just get tired of the whole business.
Friends
What do you call a man and woman who keep showing you up in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!
Onions
How do you start an onion race?
"Onion marks! Get set! Go!
Tablecloths
DINER: How often do you change the
tablecloths in this establishment?
WAITER: I don't know, sir, I've only worked
here six months.
Computers
Why was the computer feeling cold?
It had left Windows open.
Butcher
A clerk in a butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
Meat.
Doctors
My mum said, 'Doctor, give me something for my kidneys.'
The doctor said, 'How about a few rashers of bacon?'
Elephants
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?
A pair of swimming trunks.