Joke Topic - 'Nice'

Their marriage is based on trust and understanding.
She doesn't trust him, and he can't understand her.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit very carefully, it's a Christmas present!

I'm having to leave my wife because of another woman - her mother.

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
One after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He was sentenced to 12 months in jail they say his days are numbered.

Why did the baby firefly get awarded a prize at school?
Because he was very bright for his age.

What do the police call it when they watch a vampire's castle?
A stake out.

Why did the king visit his dentist?
To have his teeth crowned!