Joke Topic - 'Nail Polish'

Did you hear about the idiot who wanted to become a poet?
He went to the Post Office to buy a poetic license.

Why was Cinderella so useless at sport?
Because her coach was a pumpkin.

What does Santa call his wife on his income tax form?
A dependent Claus.

MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?

I'm a self-made man.
We accept your apology.

Dad, there's someone at the door collecting for the old folks home. Shall I give him grandma?

Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expensive?

Yo' mama's so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales started singing, "We are family!"

Customer: I'd like a bar of soap please.
Shop Assistant: Would you like it scented?
Customer: No, I want to take it with me now.