Joke Topic - 'Nag'

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Mack: My uncle plays piano by ear.
Jack: That's nothing. My uncle fiddles with his whiskers!

Patient: This morning I was walking across a field and was trampled by some cows.
Doctor: So I herd.

How many survivors of a nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

It's all right to be stupid, but you're making a career out of it.

Highway man to traveller: Your money or your life!
Traveller: Take my life, I'm saving up.

Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off of you when you die.

What is the difference between a hill and a pill?
A hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.

Why are dalmatians no good at playing hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.