An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
Carol: I heard a mouse squeak.
Steven: Well, what do you want me to do? Oil it???
How do you save a drowning mouse?
Give it mouse to mouse resuscitation.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a bath?
Squeaky clean.
Momma mouse was getting food in the kitchen with her baby when the cat pounced in. Snatching up the kid Momma ran for the mousehole but it was obvious she wasn't going to make it. Finally in desperation she whipped around and shouted "Bark, Bark" at the cat. The cat skidded to a halt
and ran away. Momma mouse turned to her baby and said, "You see how important it is to
learn a foreign language!"
My uncle said, 'I'm going to do a dangerous experiment. I'm going to cross an elephant with a mouse.'
My uncle said, 'Great big holes in the skirting board.'
The Doctor received a frantic phone call from Mr. Jones who explained that his wife, who always slept with her mouth open, had a mouse caught in her throat.
"Don't worry, I'll be over in a few minutes," said the doctor. "In the meantime, try waving a piece of cheese in front of her mouth."
When the doctor arrived, he found Mr Jones waving a large fish in front of his wife's face.
"What on earth are you doing?" exclaimed the doctor.
"I told you to wave cheese. Mice don't like fish."
"I know," Mr Jones gasped, "but I need to get the cat out first.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with an oil can?
A squeak that oils itself.
What's grey, has four legs, and a trunk?
A mouse on vacation.
When does a mouse need an umbrella?
When it's raining cats and dogs.