Polar Bears
Did you hear about the polar bear who tried to eat a penguin?
He couldn't get the wrapper off.
Dogs
What does a dog use for playing golf?
A kennel club.
Elephants
What do you get if you cross a worm with an elephant?
Great big holes in your garden.
Dogs
Did you hear about the dog who went to college?
He won a collarship.
Pigs
Why didn't the little pig listen to his father?
Because he was an old boar.
Frogs
What do you get if you cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Fleas
Why was the mother flea very sad?
Because her children were all going to the dogs.
Stupid
He's so stupid he doesn't get dandruff - he gets sawdust.
Trees
What do fir trees do when they are sad?
They pine a lot.