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Joke Topic - 'Motorists'


Here are 6 jokes on the topic - 'Motorists'.

Related Topics: Cars (31) Car Drivers (2) Motorist (2)
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A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman.
'So what?' said the motorist.
'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer.
''I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the, back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'
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Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.'
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Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'
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Traffic policeman: 'Didn't you hear me shout to you to pull over?'
Motorist: 'I'm awfully sorry. I thought you said "Good morning, Chief Constable." '
Traffic policeman: 'That's all right, sir. I just wanted to warn you that the traffic's pretty bad up ahead.'
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Twelve year old's essay on 'what would you do to try and encourage motorists to show more consideration for others?': 'I would drive a police car.'
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What did the shy traffic light say to the motorist?
Don't look now - I'm changing!


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Cops

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told cops she got mugged.
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Patience

Give me patience and I want it now!
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King Kong

How do you catch King Kong?
Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
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Rain

Coincide: What you do when it starts to rain!
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A Great Time

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Havana.
Havana who?
Havan-a great time, hope you are having one too.
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Cows

What do you call a cow with only three legs?
Lean beef.
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Bars

What do you call a woman who goes into a bar and starts to juggle with the drinks?
Beatrix (beer tricks).
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Offers

What should you do if someone offers you a rock cake?
Take your pick.
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Birds

What kind of birds are usually locked up?
Jail-birds.

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