Joke Topic - 'Motorists'

A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman.
'So what?' said the motorist.
'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer.
''I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the, back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'

Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.'

Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'

Traffic policeman: 'Didn't you hear me shout to you to pull over?'
Motorist: 'I'm awfully sorry. I thought you said "Good morning, Chief Constable." '
Traffic policeman: 'That's all right, sir. I just wanted to warn you that the traffic's pretty bad up ahead.'

Twelve year old's essay on 'what would you do to try and encourage motorists to show more consideration for others?': 'I would drive a police car.'

What did the shy traffic light say to the motorist?
Don't look now - I'm changing!