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Joke Topic - 'Motorists'


Here are 6 jokes on the topic - 'Motorists'.

Related Topics: Cars (32) Car Drivers (2) Motorist (2)
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A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman.
'So what?' said the motorist.
'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer.
''I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the, back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'
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Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.'
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Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'
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Traffic policeman: 'Didn't you hear me shout to you to pull over?'
Motorist: 'I'm awfully sorry. I thought you said "Good morning, Chief Constable." '
Traffic policeman: 'That's all right, sir. I just wanted to warn you that the traffic's pretty bad up ahead.'
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Twelve year old's essay on 'what would you do to try and encourage motorists to show more consideration for others?': 'I would drive a police car.'
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What did the shy traffic light say to the motorist?
Don't look now - I'm changing!


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Computers

What did one computer say to the other computer?
You've got a nice interface.
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Frogs

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair?
Lily.
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Politicians

Honesty in politics is much like oxygen. The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes.
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Deodorant

You know you're having a bad day when you realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.
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Scared

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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A Hunch

Bill: I have a hunch.
David: Really? I thought you were just round-shouldered.
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Dracula

Did you hear what happened when Count Dracula knocked out a boxer?
He was out for the Count.
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Clock

What did the digital clock say to its mother?
Look Ma, no hands!
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Husbands

Many a poor husband was once a rich bachelor.

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