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Joke Topic - 'Motorist'
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Did you hear about the motorist on a tour of Scotland who went into a garage and asked them to fit his car with a set of Mull of Kin tyres?
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Teachers
Teacher: "What is the outer part of a tree called?"
Pupil: "I don't know sir."
Teacher: "Bark, boy bark."
Pupil: "Woof-woof."
Pupil: "I don't know sir."
Teacher: "Bark, boy bark."
Pupil: "Woof-woof."
Blondes
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: I dont know, and neither does she.
A: I dont know, and neither does she.
Light Bulbs
What did one light bulb say to the other?
I'm going out tonight.
I'm going out tonight.
Mother
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault.
Faithful
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Oakham.
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful!
Who's there?
Oakham.
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful!
Chief
Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water?
He had two sons, so he called them Hot and Cold.
He had two sons, so he called them Hot and Cold.
The Titanic
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
About half way.
About half way.
Fish
What type of fish only comes out at night?
A starfish.
A starfish.
Blondes
What do you call a blonde with a brain cell?
GIFTED.
GIFTED.
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