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Joke Topic - 'Motorist'
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Did you hear about the motorist on a tour of Scotland who went into a garage and asked them to fit his car with a set of Mull of Kin tyres?
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
French
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Francis.
Francis who?
Francis where French people live.
Who's there?
Francis.
Francis who?
Francis where French people live.
Mumble
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Parrots
What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance.
The parrots of Penzance.
Strike
Voluntary Workers Strike For Higher Pay
Stockings
Customer: I'd like a pair of stockings for my wife.
Storekeeper: Sheer?
Customer: No, she's at home.
Storekeeper: Sheer?
Customer: No, she's at home.
Football
Billy: I can't believe I just missed that open goal. I could kick myself.
Johnny: Don't: bother, you'd probably miss.
Johnny: Don't: bother, you'd probably miss.
Blondes
We have a Blonde where I work, who is so dumb she thinks Manual Labor is a Mexican.
Kidnapping
Did you hear about the kidnapping?
He woke up.
He woke up.
King Kong
Why did King Kong climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
Because the elevator was broken.
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