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Joke Topic - 'Mothers'

Here are 14 jokes on the topic - 'Mothers'.

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault.

A mother got a call from her daughter telling her that she had eloped with a French nobleman.
The shocked mother called her lawyer and asked, 'What's a marquee?'
The lawyer replied, 'a structure placed over the entrance to a hotel or theater.'
'Good lord,' sobbed the mother.
'My daughter has just gone and married one.'

Bill: Does this hot weather disagree with your mother?
Fred: It wouldn't dare!

Billy: My mother has the worst memory in the world.
Frank: She forgets everything?
Billy: No. She remembers everything.

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

I'm having to leave my wife because of another woman - her mother.

Joe: Oh, I wish I'd listened to my mother!
Will: Why? What did she tell you?
Joe: I don't know! I didn't listen!

John: My mother thinks I'm too thin.
Helen: What gave you that idea?
John: She always says she can see right through me.

Mother: Do you like moving pictures?
Son: I sure do, Mom.
Mother: Good! Then you can help me carry down some pictures from the attic.

My mother is a Woman of rare gifts - hardly anyone ever receives one from her!

Rose: My mother wants me married so badly.
Maria: Why do you say that?
Cindy: Whenever I bring a guy home, she measures him for a tuxedo.

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?
Are you my mother?

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