Today
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Whatcha.
Whatcha who?
Whatcha going to do today?
Flies
'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'
'Yes, sir, it's the bad meat that attracts them.'
Frogs
What do frogs like to drink when they are cold?
Hot croako.
Dentists
When I talk, people listen with their mouths open.
Oh, you must be a dentist.
Basketball
Why did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it.
Girlfriends
My girlfriend's teeth are like stars. They come out every night.
Rome
Which famous comedian invaded Rome?
Attila the Fun.
Scottish
What is the best way to get a Scotsman to get up on the roof of his house?
Tell him that the drinks are on the house.
Cats
What do you call a person who steals cats?
A purr-snatcher.