Court
Always remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people who weren't smart enough to avoid jury duty!
Noses
When they were handing out noses, you thought they said roses, so you asked for a big red one.
Nurses
What do you call a butterfingered nurse?
A medicine dropper.
Ghosts
What is a ghost-proof bicycle?
One with no spooks on the wheels.
Offices
'Duties will vary.'
Anyone in the office can boss you around and tell you what to do.
Milk
Where do milkshakes come from?
Nervous cows.
Christmas
What are gnomes the most afraid of at Christmas?
That Father Christmas will give them the sack.
Monsters
What do you call a monster tree that wanders around the forest?
Frankenpine.
Drunks
I'm not an alcoholic; I'm a drunk!
Alcoholics go to meetings!