An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
Carol: I heard a mouse squeak.
Steven: Well, what do you want me to do? Oil it?
How do you save a drowning mouse?
Give it mouse to mouse resuscitation.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a bath?
Squeaky clean.
Momma mouse was getting food in the kitchen with her baby when the cat pounced in. Snatching up the kid, Momma ran for the mousehole, but it was obvious she wasn't going to make it. Finally, in desperation, she whipped around and shouted 'Bark, Bark' at the cat. The cat skidded to a halt and ran away. Momma mouse turned to her baby and said, 'You see how important it is to learn a foreign language!'
My mother-in-law arrived today.
I knew it was her when she knocked on the front door, and all the mice threw themselves on the traps!
My uncle said, 'I'm going to do a dangerous experiment. I will cross an elephant with a mouse.'
?I said, 'What do you think you'll get?'
My uncle said, 'Great big holes in the skirting board.'
The Doctor received a frantic phone call from Mr. Jones, who explained that his wife, who always slept with her mouth open, had a mouse stuck in her throat.
'Don't worry, I'll be there in a few minutes,' answered the doctor. 'In the meantime, wave a piece of cheese in front of her mouth.'
When the doctor arrived, he saw Mr Jones was waving a large fish in front of his wife's face.
'What on earth are you doing?' exclaimed the doctor.
' I told you to wave cheese. Mice don't like fish.'
' I know,' Mr Jones gasped, 'but I have to get the cat out first.
What do mice use to avoid bad breath?
Mousewash.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with an oil can?
A squeak that oils itself.
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a cat?
Very nervous mice.
What does a cat like to eat for dessert?
Mice pudding!