Diner: Excuse me, waiter, but is there spaghetti on the menu?
Waiter: No, but I am sure that we have some in the kitchen.
Waiter, waiter what's on the menu tonight?
I'm not sure, sir, but it looks like last night's special.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Doctors
Doctor, doctor, what's the best cure for water on the knee?
A tap on the ankle.
Doctors
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sara.
Sara who?
Sara doctor in the house?
Soap
How did your mom know that you didn't wash your face?
I forgot to wet the soap.
Umbrellas
What is most useful when it is used up?
An umbrella.
Doctors
Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks that she's a clock.
I suspect you've just been trying wind her up.
Cats
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Crispies.
Teachers
Old teachers never die. They just lose their class.
A Hole
What gets bigger the more you take away?
A hole in the ground.
Boyfriends
You know your boyfriend is in love with you when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.