Diner: Excuse me, waiter, but is there spaghetti on the menu?
Waiter: No, but I am sure that we have some in the kitchen.
Waiter, waiter what's on the menu tonight?
I'm not sure, sir, but it looks like last night's special.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Breath
What always becomes more difficult to catch the faster you run?
Your breath.
Divorce
What do you call a man whose wife has just divorced him?
A divorce-he.
Experts
Experts Are Sure The Dow Will Either Rise Or Decline
Lorry
What do you call a lorry that is full of feet?
A toe truck.
Hill
What do you call a man who lives on the sheltered side of a hill?
Lee.
Chicken Soup
Have you ever had chicken soup?
No, I've never known a chicken who could cook.
Cats
What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to go swimming?
An octopuss.
Online Banking
Some people go online to their bank to get their balance. I just shake mine.
Pessimists
What blood type are pessimists?
B-negative.