Joke Topic - 'Memoirs'

Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To get to the car accident on the other side.

Waiter, waiter, you've given me a wet soup plate.
That's your soup, sir.

I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
No problem

A man went into a pet shop and asked the assistant if they had any dogs going cheap?
He replied, "Sorry sir all ours go woof."

What did they say to King Harold at the battle of Hastings?
Cor! Get an eyeful of those arrows!

She was born on her parents' wooden anniversary so they called her "Peg".

Which reindeer knows Morse code?
Dasher.

A herd of highland cows are standing in a field in Scotland.
Which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.

Honk your horn if you hate noise pollution.