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Joke Topic - 'Meat'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Meat'.

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If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
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Woman in butcher's shop: "what's the cheapest meat that you have?"
Butcher: "Whale meat, madam."
Woman: "How much is it".
Butcher: "Thirty pence a kilo."
Woman: "Well give me a quarter-kilo, and can you throw in the head, for my cat."


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Cannibals

Have you noticed that most cannibal jokes are not in good taste?
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Witches

My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'
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Teachers

Why are maths teachers so useless at gardening?
Everything that they plant grows square roots.
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Scottish

What is the definition of a true Scottish gentleman?
A Scotsman who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Old

MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?
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Octopus

Did you hear about the neurotic octopus?
He was a crazy mixed-up squid.
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Scottish

How did the Scottish dog feel when it saw the Loch Ness monster?
Terrier-fied.
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Water

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita drink of water.
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Witches

Did you hear what happened to the little witch when she misbehaved at school?
She was ex-spelled.

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