Joke Topic - 'Marriage'

A man is getting married and is standing beside his bride in the church. Next to him are his golf clubs and bag.
His bride whispers, "Why have you brought your golf clubs?"
The groom replies, "Well, this isn’t going to take all day, is it?"

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Bill: Today is my wife's birthday.
Phil: What are you getting for her?
Bill: Make me an offer!

Fred: Have you ever seen one of those machines that can tell when someone is telling a lie?
Joe: Seen one? I married one!

Harry: My wife speaks through her nose?
Fred: Why does she do that?
Harry: Because she's worn her mouth out.

Marriage - a three ring circus:
engagement ring,
wedding ring,
and suffering.

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work in the brewery.

Marriage is like a bath tub....once you are in it for awhile it's not so hot.

Marriage: The first union to defy management.

Missing: wife and dog. Reward for dog.