My brother said, 'I've got this awful job down on the farm. I'm up to my elbows in manure all day.'
I said, 'Well at least it'll stop you biting your nails.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Light Bulbs
One.
How many mind-readers does it take to change a light bulb? - think about it!
Drunk
Why is it that drunks never spill drinks on other drunks?
Boss
When you take a stand about something, you're just being stubborn.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
Dogs
What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog?
One wears a suit, and the other just pants.
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wendy
Wendy who?
Wendy red red robin goes bob bob bobbin along.
Guess
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Albert.
Albert who?
Albert you'll never be able to guess who I am.
Doctors
Patient: I feel like a sheet of music.
Doctor: Please wait a minute while I look at your notes.
Elephants
Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A: It doesn't, You get down from a duck.
Lazy
Why did the lazy man apply for a job in the bakery?
Because he was a loafer.