My brother said, 'I've got this awful job down on the farm. I'm up to my elbows in manure all day.'
I said, 'Well at least it'll stop you biting your nails.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Lawyers
Lawyers are people who can write a ten thousand word document and call it a brief.
Great Britain
Who is Great Britain's data compression hero?
Jack the Zipper
Blondes
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Teachers
Where do mad teachers go to get trained?
Looney-versity.
Coffee
Patient: Doctor, I think that I'm a cup of coffee.
Doctor: Oh, do perk up and don't be such a drip.
Dogs
Veterinarian: Has your dog ever had fleas?
Little Boy: No, just puppies!
Jog
Yo' mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise!
Lawyers
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.