Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Listened
Joe: Oh, I wish I'd listened to my mother!
Will: Why? What did she tell you?
Joe: I don't know! I didn't listen!
Possessed
"You have reached 555-5678, DIAL-A-DEMON. At the sound of the tone you will be possessed."
Lawyers
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the graveyard.
Keys
What is the hardest key to turn?
A donkey.
Reality
Do not adjust your mind
- there is a fault in reality
Light Bulbs
How many DIY buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.
A Pencil
What do you call a pencil when it stops rolling?
Stationary.
The Statue Of Liberty
Q. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
A. Because it can't sit down.
Kidnapping
Did you hear about the kidnapping?
He woke up.