Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a
magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had
a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot
would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it
around it dissappeared! The parrot said "It's in his pocket, it's in
his pocket". The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The
next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the
parrot said, "It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!" The magician
got mad because he couldn't keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot
kept giving them away.
One day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to
make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the
parrot, all of a sudden, burst out and asked:
"Ok, I give up! Where'd you hide the ship?"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Girlfriends
My girlfriend phoned me and said.. "Come on over there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
Mother
Mother: Do you like moving pictures?
Son: I sure do, Mom.
Mother: Good! Then you can help me carry down some pictures from the attic.
Clown
Why did the clown wear loud socks?
So that his feet wouldn't fall asleep.
Girlfriends
Fred: My girlfriend spends hours in front of the mirror admiring her beauty. Do you think that's vanity?
George: No, it's just imagination.
Bank Robbers
Which rabbits became famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
Frog
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
A Hunch
Bill: I have a hunch.
David: Really? I thought you were just round-shouldered.
Money
Highway man to traveller: Your money or your life!
Traveller: Take my life, I'm saving up.
A Bad Idea
Why is it a bad idea to tell jokes to an egg?
Because it will crack up.