Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a
magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had
a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot
would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it
around it dissappeared! The parrot said "It's in his pocket, it's in
his pocket". The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The
next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the
parrot said, "It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!" The magician
got mad because he couldn't keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot
kept giving them away.
One day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to
make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the
parrot, all of a sudden, burst out and asked:
"Ok, I give up! Where'd you hide the ship?"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Door
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Icon.
Icon who?
Icon make you open the door.
Artist
What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman?
A brush with the law.
Drivers
What type of driver doesn't need a license?
A screw driver.
A Bad Idea
Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you should never press your luck.
Blondes
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packets.
Detective
What do you get if you cross a famous English detective with a skeleton?
Sherlock Bones.
Waiters
'Waiter! There's a fly in my wine!'
'Well, you did ask for something with a
little body, sir.'
Deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Fishing
What do you call a man who likes to go fishing every weekend?
Rod!