Joke Topic - 'Magic'

What Christmas present do you give to a train driver?
Platform shoes.

What do owls celebrate at the end of October?
Owl-oween.

Did you hear about the man from London who became very thirsty when he went to visit his relatives in Vancouver?
He drank Canada Dry.

Rose: My mother wants me married so badly.
Maria: Why do you say that?
Cindy: Every time I bring a guy home she measures him for a tuxedo.

Diner: Waiter, bring me a portion of fish a glass of milk.
Waiter: Fillet?
Diner: Yes, right to the top.

Q: What do an intelligent blonde and a UFO have in common.
A: You often hear about them, but you never see one.

Some people are like blisters
- they appear when the work is done

What swings from a trapeze and miaows?
An acrocat.

What has two hands, but no fingers?
A Clock.