Joke Topic - 'Maggot'

Who can tell people Where to get off and get away with it?
A bus driver.

What type of fish performs surgical operations?
A sturgeon.

What do you get if you cross an octopus with a cow?
An animal that can milk itself.

Q: Why did the blonde get on the roof?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Why should you never tell your secrets to a pig?
Because he is a squealer.

Patient: Please help me Doctor. Whenever I look at my dog I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Relax. Your dog is a Dalmatian.

What are gnomes the most afraid of at Christmas?
That Father Christmas will give them the sack.

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a duck?
A chicken that lays down.

Twelve year old in French class being asked the difference between Madame and Mademoiselle: `Monsieur'.