Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Statue.
Statue who?
Statue? This is me.
French
Did you hear about the three French swordsmen who liked to put mustard in their ears?
They were known as the three mustardears.
Ducks
What do you call a man with a duck on his head?
Donald.
Friends
What do you call a man and woman who keep showing you up in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!
Dentists
Why did the king visit the dentist?
Because he wanted to have his teeth crowned!
Paranoid
Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems.
It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
Girlfriends
Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!
Trees
What is white, light, and sugary and swings from trees?
A meringue-utan.
Cars
What type of car is like a sausage?
An old banger.