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Joke Topic - 'Lonely'


Here is 1 joke on the topic - 'Lonely'.

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A lady who was very lonely bought a parrot from a pet store, complete with cage. Before purchasing it she got a guarantee that the parrot would talk. She took the parrot home. In a week and a half she returned to the store very disappointed.
"The parrot doesn't talk."
"Did you buy a mirror?"
"No."
"Every parrot needs a mirror. "So she bought a mirror and installed it in the parrot's cage. Another week and a half went by and she returned.
"The parrot still doesn't talk."
"Did you buy a ladder?"
"No."
"Every parrot needs a ladder." So she bought a ladder and installed it in the cage. Another week and a half passed and she returned.
"The parrot still doesn't talk."
"Did you buy a swing?"
"No."
"Every parrot needs a swing. "So she bought a swing and installed it in the cage. A week and a half later she returned. She was furious!
The store owner asked, "Did the parrot talk?"
"No!, he died."
"Oh, that's terrible. But did he say anything before he died?"
"Yes.""What?"
"He gasped 'Don't they have any food down at that pet store?'"


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Matrimony

"Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence."
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Dracula

Did you hear about the man who kept thinking he was Dracula?
He was a right pain in the neck.
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Kitten

Patient: I think I'm turning into a baby cat.
Doctor: I think your just kitten me.
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Light Bulbs

How many Radio 1 DJs does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.
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Fairies

What do you call a fairy that never takes a bath?
Stinkerbell.
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Frogs

What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
Hoppalong Cassidy.
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Snowmen

Two snowmen standing in a field one turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots?".
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Cooks

Cannibal Cook: Shall I make soup from both those cooks we captured?
Cannibal King: No; one is enough. Too many cooks spoil the broth.
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Eyes

What has four eyes and a mouth?
The Mississippi.

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