Joke Topic - 'Live'

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the frying pan?

Why do ghosts go to the same place every year for their vacation?
They like their old haunts best!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Midas.
Midas who?
Midas well come in.

'Are you married?'
'No, I've always been round-shouldered.'

Why did the man go running every time he forgot anything important?
He was trying to jog his memory.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

He's a few chocolate chips short of a cookie.

Patient: Doctor, I feel like an orange!
Doctor: Have you tried playing squash?

Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing pink elephants.
Have you seen a psychiatrist?
No - only pink elephants.