Joke Topic - 'Learner'

What should do you do for a pig that has a sore leg?
Rub it with oinkment.

You're never alone with schizophrenia

What do vampires cross the ocean in?
Blood vessels.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.
Sit down and I'll deal with you later.

You know you're having a bad day when - You start to put up the clothes you wore home from the party last night ....and there aren't any.

The most sadistic Christmas present I ever heard of was a down-payment on a Rolls-Royce. (think about it)

At what time of year do bedbugs like to get married?
In the spring.

Did you hear about the bicycle that went around attacking people?
It was a vicious cycle.

John: I hear that you lost your job as a golf caddy?
Paul: Yeah, I could do the work all right, but I just couldn't stop myself laughing.