Joke Topic - 'Leap Year'

Where do cows like to go on a Saturday night?
To the MOO-vies.

Fred: My girlfriend has just left on a cruise to the West Indies.
George: Jamaica?
Fred: No, she wanted to go.

What item is usually bought by the metre, yet is worn by the foot?
A carpet.

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?
Someone who will lie awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit very carefully, it's a Christmas present!

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Throw him a doughnut, sir, it'll make a good lifebelt.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!