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Joke Topic - 'Lawyers' - Page 7 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
What's a good example of a missed opportunity?
A bus-load of lawyers going over a cliff with one empty seat.
A bus-load of lawyers going over a cliff with one empty seat.
What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
A Doberman.
What's the best way to get a hold of a lawyer?
By the neck.
By the neck.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bull?
The lawyer charges more.
The lawyer charges more.
What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
No one cries when you slice up a lawyer.
No one cries when you slice up a lawyer.
What's the difference between lawyers and vultures?
Lawyers accumulate frequent-flier points.
Lawyers accumulate frequent-flier points.
What's the easiest way to escape a lawyer?
Buy a faster ambulance.
Buy a faster ambulance.
What's the easiest way to grease a Ferarri?
Run over a lawyer.
Run over a lawyer.
When a lawyer's dog gets loose, he heads straight to the butcher shop, where he steals a roast. When the butcher goes to the office of the lawyer, he says, "If a dog that is running free steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have the right to demand payment for the meat from the owner of the dog?" The response from the attorney is, "Oh, yes."
'You owe me $8.50. Your dog got away today and stole a roast from me.
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50.
When the butcher receives the mail a few days later, he discovers a bill from the attorney, which states that he is owed twenty dollars for a consultation.
'You owe me $8.50. Your dog got away today and stole a roast from me.
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50.
When the butcher receives the mail a few days later, he discovers a bill from the attorney, which states that he is owed twenty dollars for a consultation.
When an engine started to malfunction, the plane's pilot ordered the passengers to take their seats and be ready for an emergency landing. Shortly after, the captain checked with the flight attendants to make sure that everyone was strapped in and prepared. The reply was, "Everything is back to normal here, Captain, except for the lawyer who keeps handing out business cards."
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the graveyard.
In the graveyard.
Where there's a will, there's a happy Lawyer!