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Joke Topic - 'Lawyers' - Page 6 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
Sue.
What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
Retired.
Retired.
What do you call an honest lawyer?
An impossibility.
An impossibility.
What do you call an honest lawyer?
Hypothetical.
Hypothetical.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
The lawyer charges more.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick stops draining you and drops off after you die.
The tick stops draining you and drops off after you die.
What is the similarity between lawyers and nuclear weapons?
It is customary for both sides to have one if one side possesses one. Once launched, they cannot be undone. Unfortunately, their arrival has a lasting impact on everything.
It is customary for both sides to have one if one side possesses one. Once launched, they cannot be undone. Unfortunately, their arrival has a lasting impact on everything.
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?
Lawsuits.
Lawsuits.
What should you do if you find three lawyers who have been buried up to their necks in cement?
Run and find some more cement!
Run and find some more cement!
What would you do if you were in a large room, all sealed up, with no windows, the door was locked, and there were five hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, one lawyer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Shoot the lawyer twice.