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Joke Topic - 'Lawyers' - Page 4 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories


This is page 4 of jokes on the topic - 'Lawyers'.

Related Topics: Law (5) Judges (18) Attorneys (2)
It was recently said that a lawyer was fishing in the Atlantic when a sudden swell threw him into the water. A school of man-eating sharks immediately converged on him, but they lifted him out of the water and carefully swam him to the shore, where he waded out. He turned and asked them why they had saved his life instead of eating him alive. One of the sharks smiled and said, 'Professional Courtesy!'
It was so cold last week that I saw several lawyers with their hands in their own pockets.
Joe grew up in a small town before moving away for college and law school. He wanted to return to the tiny town since he saw himself as an important man there. He wanted to impress everyone. He launched his new legal office, but business was initially slow.
One day, Joe saw a man walking up the path. He was determined to leave a lasting impact on this new client upon his arrival. When the man arrived at the door, Joe promptly answered the phone. He gestured for the man to come inside, continuing to speak as he did so. 'Absolutely not.' No way. Please convey my message to the individuals in New York that I am not willing to reach a resolution in this matter unless the settlement amount is set at one million. Certainly. The Appeals Court has scheduled to hear that case next week. I will take charge of the main argument, while my team members will offer their assistance.
Tell the District Attorney that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details.'
This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. While Joe was rattling out directions, the man remained seated and patient throughout the entire process. Joe finally placed the phone down and shifted his attention to the other individual. I apologize for the wait; as you can see, I've been really busy. How can I help you?
The man replied, 'I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone.'
Last year, a group of terrorists hijacked a planeload of lawyers. They said they'd release one every hour unless their demands were met.
Lawyer Says His Client Is Not That Guilty
Lawyers are people who can write a ten thousand word document and call it a brief.
Lawyers don'tgivebad advice - they charge for it.
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'
Old lawyers never die. They just lose their appeal.
One day, a lawyer and his brother were out hunting. A mountain lion sprang in front of them and snarled.
The brother said, 'What should we do?'
The lawyer said, 'I'm gonna run for it.'
The brother said, 'You can't outrun a mountain lion!'
The lawyer said, 'I don't have to outrun HIM - I only have to outrun YOU.'
St. Peter went for a walk since he was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates. He quickly realized that the barrier separating Heaven and Hell needed to be fixed. So St. Peter leaned over the fence and yelled at Lucifer, 'This fence needs to be repaired! I'll see to it that you help pay for it …'
Lucifer replied, 'If you want it fixed, YOU pay for it!'
St. Peter replied, 'The fence is your responsibility too. You help pay for it, or I will sue you.'
Lucifer laughed. 'Ha! Where do you think YOU are going to get a lawyer?!'
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