Pigs
Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
In a hog cabin.
Toes
Patient: Doctor, why are you writing on my toes?
Doctor: I'm just adding a footnote.
Ducks
Diner: Do you have any wild duck?
Waiter: No, sir, but we could take a contented one and irritate it for you.
Jobs
I like my job it's the work I hate.
Shopping
George: I went window shopping this morning.
Dave: Did you get anything?
George: Yes. I bought four windows.
Thinking
I used to think.
What made you stop?
Birds
What do you give to an injured bird?
Tweetment.
Vampires
Where do vampires keep their savings?
In the blood bank.
Doctors
Doctor, doctor. Every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy.
OK, how long have you had these Disney spells?