Joke Topic - 'Know' - 2 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At

Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Know'.

How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb?
Who wants to know?

Who wrote Oliver Twist?
How the dickens should I know?

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

Diner: Do you have any wild duck?
Waiter: No, sir, but we could take a contented one and irritate it for you.

Yo' mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice!

When a man was reading the newspaper, his wife asked, 'Will you still love me when I'm old and grey?'
'Sure I do,' he mumbled.

Did you hear about the ghost who visited Africa on safari last year?
He was a big-game haunter.

What does a dentist call x-rays?
toothpics.

Watch out for the idiot behind me.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out and put new ones in.

When I get old, will the calves on my legs be cows?

'Hello, this is Dave. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.