Police
Police move in book case
Cows
Why can't you shock cows?
Because they've herd it all before.
Schools
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Kings
Why did King Arthur have a round table?
So no one could corner him.
Speaking
'Hello, is this the person to whom I am speaking?'
Doctors
Doctor: I will examine you for twenty dollars.
Patient: Go ahead, Doctor. If you find it, you can have it.
Restaurants
A sign in the window of a restaurant: 'Eat now - Pay waiter.'
Snoring
Why is it the loudest snorer is always the first one to get to sleep?
Good Luck
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with 4 leaf clovers?
A rash of good luck!