Joke Topic - 'Knife'

Q: How does a male octopus ask a female octopus to marry him?
A: Can I have your hand, your hand, your hand, your hand ...

Did you hear about the man who kept thinking he was Dracula?
He was a right pain in the neck.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Did you hear about the man who went to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head?
The doctor gave him some cream to put on it.

A new wagon designed for LA rush hour traffic is called the Stationary wagon.

Redundancy: An airbag in a politician's car!

Patient: Doctor, what is the best thing to do when you hear ringing your ear?
Doctor: Answer it.

I'm watching my drinking, so now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Aaron.
Aaron who?
Aaron the side of caution, just to be safe.