Music
What musical instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.
Airplanes
What is red and green and jumps out of airplanes?
A parrot-trooper.
Musicians
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified.
Married Men
A married man should always forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same things.
Cold
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken, who?
Ken I come in? It's really cold standing here.
Lawyers
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but he'll bill you for five!
Ghosts
What do ghosts like to eat for lunch?
Spook-etti.
Divorce
What do you call a man whose wife has just divorced him?
A divorce-he.
Having A Bad Day
You know you're having a bad day when - Everyone is laughing but you.