Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sizzle.
Sizzle who?
Sizzle hurt me more than it hurts you.
Married
'Are you married?'
'No, I've always been round-shouldered.'
Husbands
Janet: My husband talks in his sleep.
Mary: Why not take him to the doctor?
Janet: Are you kidding? It's the only time he talks to me.
Dieting
The dieter's motto.
If at first you don't recede, diet again.
Pigs
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for their mother's birthday?
They threw a sowprize party.
Blondes
After completing her jigsaw piece in just six months, why was the blonde so happy?
Because it said From 2-4 years on the box.
Christmas Presents
What Christmas present do you give to a train driver?
Platform shoes.
Data
Who is France's data compression hero?
Joan of ARC...
Steamrollers
Did you hear about the steamroller driver who ran over a biscuit?
He said, 'Crumbs.'