It was late one night and Tarzan finally came home to his tree house. Jane welcomed him home and then asked what he wanted.
Make me a dry martini, Jane,' said Tarzan.
So Jane made him one. Tarzan drank it down thirstily and then asked for another one. This went on until Tarzan had drunk five dry martinis. When he asked for another one, Jane remarked: 'But, Tarzan, you've already had five. Why do you want another one?'
'You don't know what it's like, Jane,' said Tarzan. 'It's like a jungle out there!'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Doctors
What do you call the place that is crowded with doctors most afternoons?
A golf course.
Lawyers
What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Months
Some months have 31 days, how many have 28?
All the months.
Cows
If your cow sounds like this, bake it and eat it "moo,moo". If your cow sounds like this I would take the fish "Moo ahhh,moo moo ahhh".
Baseball
What did the baseball glove say to the baseball?
I'll catch you later!
Frogs
What did one frog say to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
Fish
Why are fish so smart?
Because they like to swim around in schools.
Policeman
Policeman: 'When I saw you coming round that
bend I thought, "Forty-five at least".'
Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'
Boy Scout
Why did the Boy Scout become dizzy?
Because he spent all day doing good turns.