A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge
said, "What will you take: 30 days or $30?"
The man thought and replied, "I think I'll take the money."
The judge said to the dentist: "Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Fish
What type of fish only comes out at night?
A starfish.
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.
Sit down and I'll deal with you later.
Mice
What has three tails, twelve legs and can't see?
Three blind mice.
Kings
When Henry VIII came to the throne what was the first thing he did?
He sat down.
Horses
What is a thespian pony?
A little horse play
Horses
Where does a horse go when he gets sick?
The horspital.
Fly
If God meant us to fly - he'd buy the tickets
Christmas
How did the man feel after eating a whole Christmas goose?
He felt pretty down.
Pets
'I call my pet Tiny,' said Peter.
'Why do you call him Tiny?' asked one of his friends.
'Because he's my newt.'