Joke Topic - 'Jokers'

I used to have a fish as a pet. Poor little thing it was deaf. So I bought it a herring aid.

Why was the witch drinking lots of water?
She was going through a dry spell.

I keep trying to write a song about drinking but I just can't get past the first few bars.

My physchiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him "If you don't mind I'd like a second opion. "He said "Alright .. you're ugly too."

Bob: I call my girlfriend Sugar.
Joe: Why is that?
Bob: Because she's so refined.

Boy to girl: Wow! You look like a million dollars.
Girl: Do you really think so?
Boy: Yes, you're all green and wrinkly.

A bachelor is a man who is careful to steer clear of women with bride ideas.

What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look, I'm changing.

How many ROCK AND ROLL SOUND ENGINEERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
"Did you say something?"