Joke Topic - 'Job'

"Why did you leave your last job?"
"It was something the boss said to me."
"Was it something abusive?"
"Not exactly."
"So what did he say?"
"You're fired.

An idiot was given the job of painting white lines down the middle of a road. On his first day he painted eight miles, on his second day he painted 3 miles, and on his third day he painted just one mile. The boss was not pleased. He asked him, "Why is it that you are painting less each day?"
"Because each day I get further away from the can of paint."

Dave: Did you hear that Fred has got a job at the bowling alley?
Joe: What tenpin?
Dave: No it's a permanent job.

Did you hear about the man who gave up his job as a fishmonger?
He said it was making him shelfish.

Did you hear about the man who quit his Job as a historian?
He realized there was no future in it.

I left my last job because I was told to do something I didn't like.
Really! What was that?
The boss told me to look for another job.

I like my job it's the work I hate.

Interviewer: "In this job, we need someone who is responsible."
Job Applicant: "That's me. In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job: he still has the same boss.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young programmer, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The programmer said, "In the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The programmer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."