Joke Topic - 'Jamaican'

Diner: Waiter, can you put this meal on my credit card?
Waiter: Sorry, sir. But I don't think it'll fit.

What do you call a prisoner's pet budgie?
A jail bird.

Last night I was going to kill myself by swallowing a handful of asprins - but after taking the first two I felt much better.

What type of vegetables do plumbers fix?
Leeks.

Why was the archaeologist upset?
His job was in ruins.

What do you get if you cross a football team with a bunch of crazy jokers?
Mad jester united.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Don.
Don who?
Don take me for granted.

What should you do if your coffeemaker becomes depressed?
Try to perk it up.

Definition of a "commentator" - an average potato.