'Doctor, doctor, I think I must be invisible. Everyone ignores me.'
' Next, please.'
Doctor, doctor! I'm becoming invisible.
Yes, I can see you're not all there.
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?
What was the invisible man scared of?
His own shadow.
Why did the invisible man look in the mirror?
To make sure he wasn't there.
Teenagers
Why does it take so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Windows
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Lawyers
Old lawyers never die. They just lose their appeal.
Blondes
After completing her jigsaw piece in just six months, why was the blonde so happy?
Because it said From 2-4 years on the box.
Having A Bad Day
You know you're having a bad day when you wake up to the calming sound of running water and then remember that you recently bought a waterbed.
Waiters
Sign in a restaurant window: 'Eat now - Pay waiter.'
Dracula
How can you tell when Count Dracula has caught the flu?
He'll be coffin.
Cows
What do you call it when cows fight a battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Umbrellas
What go up when the rain comes down?
Umbrellas.