A train in India was going very, very slowly, and a group of American tourists
were growing increasingly impatient. Finally, when it stopped for about the hundredth time, one of the tourists got out, walked to the front of the train, and asked the
train-driver, 'can't you go any faster?'
'Oh, yes sir' replied the driver, 'but I've not allowed to leave the train.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Girlfriends
My girlfriend's teeth are like stars they come out every night...
Parakeets
What did the parakeet say when he finished shopping?
Just put it on my bill.
Barbers
How does a barber cut the moon's hair?
Eclipse it.
Teacher
l thought I might become a history teacher when I grew up, but then I realized there was no future in it.
A Gardener
What type of socks does a gardener like to wear when he is working?
Garden hose.
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jerome.
Jerome who?
Jerome alone.
Father Christmas
What do you get if you deep fry Father Christmas? Crisp Cringle.
Paranoid
Paranoids are people, too they have their own problems.
It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
Beer
Who said beer won't make you smarter? It made Bud wiser!