Joke Topic - 'Income Tax'

My wife is a careful driver, she always slows down when going through a red light.

What do you call a train that is carrying toffee?
A chew chew train.

Patient: Please help me Doctor. Whenever I look at my dog I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Relax. Your dog is a Dalmatian.

Highway man to traveller: Your money or your life!
Traveller: Take my life, I'm saving up.

"Doctor, doctor, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get a sharp pain in my nose."
"Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?"

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just define darkness as an industry standard.

Q: Why didn't the Blonde have any ice cubes for her party?
A: She lost the recipe.

You know you're having a bad day when - You start to put up the clothes you wore home from the party last night ....and there aren't any.

What do you get when a dinosaur has a car accident?
Tyrannosarus wrecks.