Joke Topic - 'Ignorance'

What did the cannibal say when he met the famous explorer?
Doctor Livingstone, I consume?

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks that she's a clock.
I suspect you've just been trying wind her up.

What happens if a chimp falls and twists his ankle?
He gets a monkey wrench.

What did the vampire say when he called the blood bank?
Do you do home deliveries?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn't make the money you did.

What do you get if you cross a vampire with some peanut butter?
A vampire that sticks to the roof of your mouth!

How do you start an insect race?
One, two, flea, go.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joan.
Joan who?
Joan call us, we'll call you.