Joke Topic - 'Idiot'

An idiot was given the job of painting white lines down the middle of a road. On his first day he painted eight miles, on his second day he painted 3 miles, and on his third day he painted just one mile. The boss was not pleased. He asked him, "Why is it that you are painting less each day?"
"Because each day I get further away from the can of paint."

Bill: What kind of idiot do you think I am?
John: I don't know. How many kinds are there?

Did you hear about the florist who had two children?
One is a budding genius and the other one is a blooming idiot.

Did you hear about the idiot who buried his car battery when the auto mechanic told him that it was dead?

Did you hear about the idiot who called both his sons, Ed?
He thought two eds were better than one.

Did you hear about the idiot who planted pennies in his garden?
He wanted to raise some hard cash.

Did you hear about the idiot who thought the Cote d'Azur was a blue jacket?

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

Two idiots walked deep into a forest searching for a Christmas tree. After spending hours in the deep snow and biting wind, one idiot turned to the other and said, "I'm going to chop down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

Watch out for the idiot behind me.